I prefer for the funeral to be simple and very personal for the family and friends present. Of course, I do have the backup “funeral message/service” for those last-minute occasions. Otherwise, I prefer to spend some time with the family, and plan the service and the elements of the service around those their family experiences and values. With this personal time that I have with a family, I pray with them and ask them to share fond memories or distinctive stories about the deceased. During our conversation, I listen for things that may be needed by the family for encouragement and for direction for the service and message. I also ask specifically if there is anyone close to the deceased that they might recommend to share some words during the funeral service.
EVALUATIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS
This is an area in which we (the church) needs a lot of organized improvement. When we receive a call that someone has passed away, myself, or whoever has been asked to lead the funeral spend time with the family as I described above. I would like to have a group of members who work to provide some encouragement and assistance for the family. Such assistance could include personal visitation, providing meals, assisting the family make any necessary arrangements (if they would like help with transportation, phone calls, childcare, etc.). As a church we do pray a lot, corporately and individually, but we do not have a specific intercessory prayer ministry. I think this is a very serious lacking in our ministry. I would like to share with someone that we have had people praying specifically for their family’s loss and for their spiritual and emotional healing.
I also think it would be great to offer a course in caring for the elderly (which focuses on all of the legal issues, as well as: how to obtain medical financial assistance, meeting the emotional needs of the elderly, understanding death and dying [the emotional, physical, spiritual, etc. aspects], and preplanning funeral arrangements).
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