TMI: childhood

Early, Middle, and Late Childhood
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. -John Betjeman

The childhood shows the man as morning shows the day. -John Milton


Physical and Cognitive Development
While I was most certainly a chunky baby, in early childhood, my body began to grow and change as I became very active. I loved running, playing, moving, and wrestling; and I began to shape into a thin to average form. By three-years-old I loved playing ball, and by four, I was ready to learn sports. Though four-year-olds may not understand the precise art and skill of soccer, running in pack with my friends and occasionally bumping into the ball was a great opportunity to display my physical coordination and athletic prowess. I always kept my parents busy with my soccer, basketball, and baseball schedules; and I can remember my mom wearing a fanny-pack or purse with snacks and drinks to keep up with my energy needs.
My parents (and most of the members of First Baptist Church Cleburne) can remember that I was a very temperamental child in toddler room. I would throw tantrums because I did not want to be left with the other children. My grandpa considered it “child abuse” to leave me in there crying, so for several weeks, my mom would spend time with me and the other children in the toddler room until I wanted to be with others. By the time I was two-years-old I had well-proved that I could have a temper, and at four, I began using my temper to prove my independence. My mom recalls a particularly nasty tantrum with me refusing to wear the corduroy overalls that she made for me! Being independent-minded was trend setting for me and has continued on into my current early adult years.

I always wanted to be a grown-up (well…until I actually became one). I preferred spend time around my older cousins and tried to fit in with adults. As a child, when I was ready to come to “big church”, I never slept; and I refused to take color-books, books, or toys into the service. My parents reminded me that I started taking notes on church bulletin by third grade. Piaget proposed that in a preoperational stage, from approximately 2 to 7 years of age, children begin to stabilize concepts and begin reasoning. He described operations as internalized sets of action that allow children to do mentally what before they did physically. In the intuitive thought substage, children begin to use primitive reasoning to answer all sorts of questions. Although I did not have an understanding of the significance of God’s church, by the things that Pastor Dyer was preaching, I was beginning to formulate a basic understanding of the concepts and purposes of the church, or at least centrally, what it meant to me.

As I entered a time of preadolescence around 5th grade, I continued my heavy participation in city sports, but I also began spending a lot of my time reading and experimenting with arts and music. I would spend as much time inside filling sketchpads as I would in driveway shooting hoops. An interesting aspect of my personality began coming forward during this time. I had this great aspiration to be “the natural” at whatever I did. I can’t exactly pinpoint when I first watched the Robert Redford movie, The Natural, but I am sure that the fantasy books I read and my love for movies with an underdog protagonist provided enough influence for me to think that I, too, could save the day without breaking a sweat. Though I still held the same desire to showoff and get attention that I had from infancy, I did not want to study, take lessons, or put in serious practice to achieve. This attitude extended into my school education. I had always loved school and made straight A’s, but by 6th grade, I had no interest in studying or completing homework. This mind-set has unfortunately plagued much of my school efforts through most of my life. I have always loved to learn, to discover, and to develop, and I have been a self-motivated reader/thinker, but I was not successful in engaging myself in the schoolwork that was assigned. Most of my formal, school education relied on a very traditional, standardized approach. I think I would have better embraced a system of education such as Piaget suggested. He theorized that teachers should take a constructive approach, facilitate rather than direct learning, consider each child’s level and style of thinking, promote intellectual health, and turn the classroom into a setting of exploration and discovery. In that kind of learning environment, I could have better sharpened my critical thinking skills, and I believe I may have embarked on a journey of self-discovery sooner and more successfully.

My parents certainly practiced authoritative parenting. I think they saw my tendency to carve my own path, but they also knew that it could be a weakness for me if I didn’t learn responsibility and follow-through. They always encouraged me to be independent but still placed limits and controls on my actions. They were good communicators and generally did a great job of explaining rules and what was expected of me. They expected me to act with mature, age-appropriate behaviors and they would try to help me learn from my mistakes. I am thankful that they led our family with high expectations, patience, and with Christlike qualities.

Sibling Interaction
After being the center of attention for the first three-years of my life (being the first grandson, the first boy in my family for my generation), my revival, my brother Kyle, was born. When my mom was pregnant with Kyle, my parents would read a book to me entitled Baby Sister. I had grown accustomed to the idea of having a little sister around and was okay with it. When my little sister came out a little brother I was obviously a bit surprised. When we went home from the hospital, I realized that I was no longer the center of attention. I responded by drawing very close to my mom, and I would not leave her side, so that she’d make sure to not forget about me. After a few weeks, I learned to accepted kyle pretty well. My parents helped this transition by giving me responsibilities with Kyle. I would hold his hand while watching TV (so that he wouldn’t be afraid). Simple tasks like this helped me invest into Kyle’s newborn life, and gave me a sense of intimacy and belonging with him.

As we grew up, my brother and I had many shared environmental experiences that helped us to bond. Besides sharing our familial environment, we watched the same shows, played the same games, and shared a strong appetite. Kyle became my best friend and my shadow, as we played the same sports, and participated in many of the same activities. We loved to dress up as the characters in the movies we watched and excelled in fort building and Chinese leg-wrestling. As much as we shared, we also had many nonshared environmental experiences. Kyle never had a sitter, as my mom had decided to transition to being a full-time at-home mom. I had been accustomed to being with sitter on normal basis, and accordingly I had more adult interaction. Instead, he had more kid interaction (me, as well as the kids of families that my parents had now become friends with). I think that the difference in our early social environment may explain why it took me longer to adjust to other kids than it took him. Kyle hated riding in the car, and I loved it. I took more artistic interest, he had more imaginative interest and preferred blocks over books. When I was born, as the firstborn and the center of attention, I changed the environment, when Kyle came, he often then would fit into the environment. Undoubtedly our differences and our likenesses contributed to our share of fights and name calling, but just as I would hold his hand when he was a baby, I always felt protective of my little brother.